Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Valentine’s Day is such a wonderful opportunity to set aside time and share our love with our spouse or significant other. But sometimes it is hard to figure out what to do year after year to show how much we love and care about them. And between holidays it is hard to keep that special spark alive. So what do we do?
Dr. Gary Chapman suggested in his book, The 5 Love Languages, that each individual has an emotional love language. This language is likely different from your spouse’s language. Therefore, in order to keep love alive, we really need to identify and understand our own love language as well as learn to speak our spouse’s love language.
Dr. Chapman’s 5 love languages include:
- Words of Affection
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
In order to identify your own love language, ask yourself several questions:
- What makes me feel the most loved?
- What do I desire above all else?
- What have I most requested?
- In what way do I regularly express love to my spouse?
By making it a priority to learn more about your spouse’s love language (and it may surprise you what it is) and express love in a way your spouse will most appreciate, it is more likely that their love tank will be full. And when love tanks are full we feel better and act better. So in a nutshell, love generates more love. For that reason, make love the focus of each day, not just Valentine’s Day, and explore how speaking your spouse’s love language can benefit your marriage for a lifetime.
For more information, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com
Andrea Umbach, M.A. is a therapist at Southeast Psych as well as the Founder of Charlotte Anxiety Consortium. Andrea enjoys working with teens, adults, and couples and specializes in anxiety disorders.